Month: July 2016

You Are Not Your Struggles

“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.”

― Steve Maraboli

       Do not let your past mistakes and regrets define who you are today. We all make bad decisions and regret choices we’ve made, but it is important to remember that this does not have to shape who you are going forward. Look back on your mistakes and struggles, learn from them, then let them go and make the conscious choice to make different decisions today going forward.

Being Honest with Yourself

By Corin

“When we start letting people into our gated community, we lavish attention on them since they’re one of the few. We go out of our way to make our newly minted friend feel special. But if we notice that they’re not returning our attention with the same amount of care, we feel taken for granted.

Next comes the small conversations like, I know you didn’t mean to do this on purpose, but you hurt my feelings doing these things and not doing these as stipulated in Addendum 1, 3, 4a and 666. Those small conversations become more frequent.

We feel better being so generous in our forgiveness of our friends’ little foibles, but our friends are wondering how many more Addendums there are. Friends start treading lightly so they don’t break another Rule that’s part of our value system. They can only be themselves as long it doesn’t break our rules. Is it any wonder our friends choose to move on to less restrictive relationships?”

     Relationships are hard to navigate. We all know this. But what we forget is that we often cause our relationships to be much more difficult and strained than necessary. Unconsciously, we put restrictions and conditions on those around us and when they come up short then it becomes a case of blame being cast on the other person for not being a good enough friend, partner, etc. When in reality we need to look in the mirror and take a hard critical look at our actions before casting stones. And each person should take time today to reevaluate close relationships and honestly assess what unwritten conditions have been attached to them. Then work to let go of those unhealthy restrictions and have this same open dialogue with those who are important to you. And together you can work to move forward with a bond that is truly strong enough to stand the test of time.

Overcoming Yourself

“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.”

― C. JoyBell C.

      I believe we are each our own worse enemy. You say you’re stuck because of your circumstances- job, friends, significant other, society, etc. But your circumstances are merely obstacles and roadblocks placed in your path . . . and it is you and your choices alone that prevent you from moving past them. The only thing stopping you from moving forward is yourself.

Love Yourself

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

― Gautama Buddha

       I truly believe there are two fundamental lessons each of us must learn before we can experience pure joy and happiness in this life. We must learn to unconditionally love and accept ourselves – imperfections included. When you unconditionally love and accept yourself, there is this inner calm and peace that envelopes your soul like a protective shroud. You are no longer afraid to be alone with just your thoughts and you radiate love to everyone near. Burdens you have carried for so long disappear and you are free. Free of self-recrimination. Free of self-doubt. Said simply, you are free to break from the chains that bind you and learn what it means to fly with your own wings.

Moving Forward

“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it you would let go of today?”

― Mary Manin Morrissey

         We often find ourselves saying it’s time to move on, that we’re ready to move forward toward something better. But yet we find ourselves stuck time and time again. Why? Maybe we’re asking the wrong questions. Maybe the right question is, “what is tethering us to our current situation…what is preventing us from leaping with both feet?” When you can answer these questions, you can begin to break free of the chains binding you to the past. In order to truly move forward, you must first release the pain and regrets of yesterday to make room for the rewards of tomorrow.

We Must Carry On

“If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.”

― Martin Luther King Jr.

         In a world filled with such hatred and intolerance, it is hard to believe in better days to come. With nothing but darkness enveloping a nation that has turned against those it is sworn to protect, it is hard to fathom the Sun will ever shine again. When man has turned against fellow man, it is hard to believe that one day our brothers will no longer have to fear when they walk out the door they will not come home that night. When all hope and faith has been leeched from our weary souls, we must stop and remember those who have come before us. Our brothers and sisters who gave up their lives to advocate for tolerance, justice and equality-the very same struggle we are facing yet again today. And it is on their shoulders that we must stand and say, “I still have a dream” and we will not go quietly into the night.

Play On

“Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired.
Smile, even when you’re trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision.
Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy.
Trust, even when your heart begs you not to.
Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see.
Frolick, even when you are made fun of. Kiss, even when others are watching. Sleep, even when you’re afraid of what the dreams might bring.
Run, even when it feels like you can’t run any more.
And, always, remember, even when the memories pinch your heart. Because the pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. And without your experience—you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric. What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your terrible life and hold your head up high the next day. So don’t live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after all the crap has happened, than you ever were back before it started.”

By Alysha Speer

        No matter what you’re going through in life, you always have to play on. Even when things are going horribly wrong, you can’t stop – you have to push through. Even when there is no hope, you have to carry on. No matter what storms life brings your way, you must continue to sing your song. For this is what it means to live and not simply exist.

Spread Your Wings

“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.”

― C. JoyBell C.

         Life isn’t about having all the right answers or having a roadmap to follow with turn-by-turn instructions. It’s meant to be a journey of discovery. One where you are meant to blindly choose a door and open it not knowing what lies on the other side. You can analyze a decision backwards and forwards but at some point you must take a leap of faith. Trust in yourself, spread your wings and let the winds take you where they may.

Follow Your Own Path

“I believe in going with the flow. I don’t believe in fighting against the flow. You ride on your river and you go with the tides and the flow. But it has to be your river, not someone else’s. Everyone has their own river, and you don’t need to swim, float, sail on their’s, but you need to be in your own river and you need to go with it. And I don’t believe in fighting the wind. You go and you fly with your wind. Let everyone else catch their own gusts of wind and let them fly with their own gusts of wind, and you go and you fly with yours.”

― C. JoyBell C.

        Each of us has our own path that we must walk alone. No two paths are the same. What’s right for you may be wrong for someone else. But it is important that you listen to your own inner voice, your own inner compass to steer you towards the trail that was meant for you to blaze. You have to block out the voices of the naysayers and those who will lead you astray. Because when it comes down to it, every person you encounter will likely have an opinion on how you should live your life. But in the end, the only voice that matters is yours. So make it count.

Shifting Your Perceptions

“We are happy when people/things conform and unhappy when they don’t. People and events don’t disappoint us, our models of reality do. It is my model of reality that determines my happiness or disappointments.”

― Stefan Zweig, Chess Story

        In life, we are so often disappointed and frustrated when things don’t go our way.  And when things start spiraling out of control and going sideways, it’s so hard to see outside your situation.  Sometimes circumstances can be so overwhelming that you just want to give up and throw in the towel.  But it is at these moments, you have to stop, take a deep breath and try to look at your situation from an outside perspective.  Then you can say, “Ok, so this is what I had hoped to happen, this is what actually happened, what can I learn from this not so great outcome, and what can I do to minimize any negative ramifications or how can I maneuver around this pothole.”  In this way, you are shifting your perception of disappointment or failure and are equipping yourself with better tools to handle life’s pitfalls.