Tag: Change

Your Approach

“To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.”

Eckhart Tolle

It is so easy to find yourself complaining over and over about the people in your life or difficult situations you find yourself in. It often is easier to point out all the negative that is stressing you out rather than figuring out how you’re going to move forward. Indeed, each of us have been guilty of subjecting a loved one to constant complaints about our work, friends, family, etc. Instead, maybe it’s time to try something else because I find myself even more worked up, frustrated, and stressed out after one of these dare I say rants ….Trying to look at these situations objectively I can admit that perhaps a change in strategy may be needed. My new approach is to say my opinion regarding a situation, then step back and see how things will play out.  This allows you to gain perspective by distancing yourself from the situation. Sometimes the right action/choice may be completely removing yourself from a situation or environment. It may mean limiting contact with certain people. Or, the situation may resolve itself without you doing anything but allowing time to work it’s magic. 

Take Charge of Your Life

“Letting go is never a sign of failure, letting go is knowing what battle to fight and what battle to “let it be”.. Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care anymore, it is just directing your false hope to something more worthy of your emotions, energy and time.. Letting go is simply taking charge and control over yourself rather than fighting windmills like a modern day Don Quixote…”

― Zena Abou Alnaser

 It’s been awhile since I’ve last posted on here. To be honest, I let myself get lost in all the things going on in my life and I lost my inspiration. I lost sight of why I had created the blog over two years ago.  Each post I wrote began to feel more robotic and I no longer felt connected to what I was writing. It was like I was on auto pilot and before I knew it, it had been almost six months since I “blogged.”  In fact, it had almost been the same amount of time since I wrote period. No journals, no poetry, no freestyle, nada, zilch. 

Why? Simple, I let myself get caught up in the chaos around me.  I let myself get sucked into the drama and bullshit surrounding me in my personal and professional life. I found myself obsessing and becoming emotionally strung out on situations, people, and circumstances that were out of my control.  I spent way too much time and energy on people and situations that weren’t worth it. For it’s so easy to give in to the pettiness of a person being a crappy friend or a difficult coworker when you are in the midst of the “battle.”  It’s difficult to have clarity and perspective when you’ve been hurt or your pride insulted. This was where I found myself…and it felt like deja vu. Like haven’t I ridden on this train before and vowed to not repeat that experience…

Well, I finally reached a point a little while ago where I’m like what am I doing and this has gotten old. I asked myself why I was allowing myself to become a prisoner of the past, the negative, and toxic situations…once again.  The answer….Bad habits. I’ve decided enough is enough…I’m done repeating the same old, tired routines.  I’m working on letting go of that which haunts me….the old hurts and bitterness so I can focus on the present and what I do have control over. And guess what? Somewhere along the lines, I’ve found my inspiration to write again. Through letting go of the burdens I’ve held on to for far too long, I feel lighter, freer, more balanced and empowered.  I’m taking back control and it feels good. I’m embracing less structure and more free spirit. So, instead of vowing to post everyday or once a week like I did before….I will say I will post as inspiration hits me. This is me choosing to take unnecessary pressure off myself…this is me taking control.

Be Mindful of Your Actions

“If we let all the negative roadblocks influence us then it’s only a matter of time before we end up detoured, lost, or possibly stranded on the side of the highway. Our positive attitude keeps our battery powered and our gas tank full, so that we can make it in one piece to our destination.”

― Lindsey Rietzsch

               I find myself in an interesting place right now. I ended the year and began 2018 with renewed hope and vigor for what was to come. I set goals and high expectations for my life and personal growth. I told myself that I’m going to push harder and have a lot of fun along the way…I promised myself that my main theme for this year was a positive attitude and mindset. In a nutshell, leave the bullshit and pettiness at the door and keep it moving on my end. Well, it’s been 17 days and I’ve already found myself sliding backwards. At times I find myself reacting negatively to negative behavior and attitudes around me. It’s so easy to get frustrated and behave just as poorly as those around you and when this happens you’re a part of the problem…not the solution. As I go through my daily reflections, I think there is an intermediary step that needs to happen for me to see long lasting change and that is mastering the art of self-awareness. What I mean is that I want to place more time and energy on being aware of my reactions and conscious state so that I reflect real time with, “Why am I feeling this way, why did I do or say x, y, and z,” and then ask myself how I could have responded differently. This will force me to acknowledge my every action and be accountable at all times. No more excuses. It’s time to form new habits. My hope is that by recognizing my reactions and thought process, I can get to the point where I automatically respond in a positive manner like muscle memory. I have faith that I will in time. I also believe this is something we can all work on, as life throws some pretty tough curveballs at us all.

Be Proactive Instead Of Reactive

“When engaging in simple everyday banter and communications, this rule of thumb can really help suppress a lot of our negative word ‘vomit’ since we often mindlessly chat about the things we don’t like. If we refrain from expressing our negative opinions about things unless they’re directly asked for, we can train ourselves to respond rather than react the second we see or hear something and then feel we must verbalize our views about it.

Remember, even if we don’t agree with someone or something, we can still speak about the subject at hand in a positive light to encourage growth rather than guilty motivation. I like to say I express more “inspirations” than “opinions” with each passing day.”

― Alaric Hutchinson, Living Peace

           Sometimes it’s difficult to know why you act in certain ways or why you make a decision or choice. I find myself questioning different decisions I make and my emotional responses. I find myself asking, “Did I make that decision because I truly felt it was the right choice or am I merely reacting to another’s negativity or the heightened energy of a situation?” And like so many of us, I like to believe that my choices and behavior are rooted in a good place. But when I’m honest with myself, I know that sometimes I allow myself to simply react to the situation. And when I allow myself to merely react, how are my actions any better than those I deem to be negative and toxic? So, perhaps it’s time to change the tone of the conversation by proactively choosing to refrain from speaking negatively and instead when given the opportunity speak about situations and people in a more positive light to foster growth instead of divisiveness. By regularly engaging in this type of behavior, you begin to train yourself to consciously control the situation instead of the situation controlling you.

Lighten Up

Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things.

– Kenneth Branagh

          Don’t take life too seriously. Life is too short to allow yourself to get worked up over the meaningless bullshit that happens everyday. And if you allow yourself to get stressed out about every little thing, you’re going to drive yourself crazy and be miserable. So, instead, choose to smile and laugh more. You will find that you feel lighter, freer, and happier by not getting worked up about everything that happens.

Greatest Gift

My greatest beauty secret is being happy with myself. I don’t use special creams or treatments – I’ll use a little bit of everything. It’s a mistake to think you are what you put on yourself. I believe that a lot of how you look is to do with how you feel about yourself and your life. Happiness is the greatest beauty secret.

– Tina Turner

           There is no greater gift than self-love. When you truly love and embrace who you are, this radiance and happiness shows on the outside in your every move. It shows up in the way you carry yourself…Simply put, true happiness coming from within, transcends your very being.

Take Ownership

“At the end of the day, you are solely responsible for your success and your failure. And the sooner you realize that, you accept that, and integrate that into your work ethic, you will start being successful. As long as you blame others for the reason you aren’t where you want to be, you will always be a failure.”

– Erin Cummings

        Take ownership and responsibility for where you’re at in life. Don’t blame others and external factors for your circumstances. For in order to move forward, you must accept the choices you made that led you down your path so you can grow and make different, hopefully better, decisions in the future.

Change Your Attitude

“Change your attitude and you change your life. You cannot control what happens to you in your life, but you can always control how you respond to it. The way you choose to respond is a reflection of your attitude. By changing your attitude, you also change your perspective and change your life.”

― Roy Bennett

         Perspective, perspective, perspective. Life is all about your perspective. Whether your life is good or bad is determined from the lens you choose to view it from. At all times, you are in control of how you deal with what life throws at you. You can choose to let your circumstances control the quality of your life or you can choose to find peace and happiness in spite of your circumstances. For all it takes to change your life is to first change your attitude.

Real Change

“Strive to make small changes and learn something new daily, because there is always these experiences you have had to tap into for the future.”

― Roy T. Bennett

         Change doesn’t happen over night. Rather, real, lasting change happens from taking small steps to change things in your daily life. It comes from learning new things and shifting your daily outlook. And before you realize it, all these small changes lead to real, long lasting transformations in your life.

Worry Less

“It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there’s nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.”

~Dr. Wayne Dyer

         Too often we overwhelm ourselves with things that are out of our control. We stress ourselves out over situations that we cannot change and let it control our lives. This needless worry immobilizes us and keeps us stuck and miserable. So, you must make a conscious effort each day to let go of the things you cannot change and use that energy instead to focus on the aspects of your life that you do have control over.