Your Approach

“To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.”

Eckhart Tolle

It is so easy to find yourself complaining over and over about the people in your life or difficult situations you find yourself in. It often is easier to point out all the negative that is stressing you out rather than figuring out how you’re going to move forward. Indeed, each of us have been guilty of subjecting a loved one to constant complaints about our work, friends, family, etc. Instead, maybe it’s time to try something else because I find myself even more worked up, frustrated, and stressed out after one of these dare I say rants ….Trying to look at these situations objectively I can admit that perhaps a change in strategy may be needed. My new approach is to say my opinion regarding a situation, then step back and see how things will play out.  This allows you to gain perspective by distancing yourself from the situation. Sometimes the right action/choice may be completely removing yourself from a situation or environment. It may mean limiting contact with certain people. Or, the situation may resolve itself without you doing anything but allowing time to work it’s magic. 

Be Mindful of Your Actions

“If we let all the negative roadblocks influence us then it’s only a matter of time before we end up detoured, lost, or possibly stranded on the side of the highway. Our positive attitude keeps our battery powered and our gas tank full, so that we can make it in one piece to our destination.”

― Lindsey Rietzsch

               I find myself in an interesting place right now. I ended the year and began 2018 with renewed hope and vigor for what was to come. I set goals and high expectations for my life and personal growth. I told myself that I’m going to push harder and have a lot of fun along the way…I promised myself that my main theme for this year was a positive attitude and mindset. In a nutshell, leave the bullshit and pettiness at the door and keep it moving on my end. Well, it’s been 17 days and I’ve already found myself sliding backwards. At times I find myself reacting negatively to negative behavior and attitudes around me. It’s so easy to get frustrated and behave just as poorly as those around you and when this happens you’re a part of the problem…not the solution. As I go through my daily reflections, I think there is an intermediary step that needs to happen for me to see long lasting change and that is mastering the art of self-awareness. What I mean is that I want to place more time and energy on being aware of my reactions and conscious state so that I reflect real time with, “Why am I feeling this way, why did I do or say x, y, and z,” and then ask myself how I could have responded differently. This will force me to acknowledge my every action and be accountable at all times. No more excuses. It’s time to form new habits. My hope is that by recognizing my reactions and thought process, I can get to the point where I automatically respond in a positive manner like muscle memory. I have faith that I will in time. I also believe this is something we can all work on, as life throws some pretty tough curveballs at us all.

Your Actions

“The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.

– Benjamin Franklin

          It is important to always be aware of your actions and how they impact others. You should strive to treat people with kindness, tolerance, and respect no matter if they are a friend or foe. For the commandment to love thy neighbor is not conditional.

Introspection

“Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone’s face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come.”

– Henri Nouwen

           Each day you should strive to be a better version of yourself. This includes evaluating at the end of each day your actions and emotional responses throughout the day. You must focus on the tough questions and be honest with yourself. Did you act out of kindness today or did you give in to frustration and short tempers? By focusing on these real questions, you allow yourself the opportunity to do better tomorrow.

The World Does Not Owe You

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

– Mark Twain

           One should not go through life with an entitlement attitude. No one and nothing in this world owes you a damn thing. If you want something in this life, whether it be a job or material object, you must work hard to obtain it. If you want happiness or success, then you must create it instead of waiting for it to happen to you.

Make it Happen

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.”

– Bradley Whitford

          You can’t spend your entire life waiting for life to happen to you. No, if you want to change and move forward, then you must get up and make it happen. Or, you may very well spend your entire life waiting instead of living. So, decide the type of life you want and then go out there and make it a reality. The only person holding you back is you.

Move Closer

“Ask yourself if what you’re doing today will get you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.”

—Anonymous

        Every step you take should lead you down the path you want to travel. Every decision you make should put you closer to reaching your goals. Be mindful of every action you take and constantly reflect to make sure you are moving toward your future and not away from it.

Plant Your Garden

“Plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”

—Jose Luis Borges

      If you have a dream, you must do the hard work to make it a reality. You can’t just sit back and wait for life to happen or for things to be handed to you. No, you must plant the seeds for your own garden and tend to it until the flowers bloom.

Take Risks

“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.”

– Denis Waitley

        Life is about taking chances. It’s about getting up and taking action. It isn’t about sitting still and doing nothing. So, dare yourself to take a leap of faith without knowing what awaits you at the bottom. For you stand to gain only what you are willing to risk.

Get Moving

“No matter how short or long your journey to your accomplishment is, if you don’t begin you can’t get there. Beginning is difficult, but unavoidable!”

― Israelmore Ayivor

       Every dream, every goal, and every journey must have a beginning. You must get up and put one foot in front of the other if you want to turn the next page in the story of your life.